When I was 38, after having still more discouraging news about our own ability to have children, we started into foster care and looked into a few adoption possibilities as well. Although we do not regret showing love, one after another of the doors closed to adopt, causing much heartache.
As I started into my 40th year, we were in a season of grieving and really letting go of what God seemed to be asking us to lay down again. Rusty and I were learning the balance of healthy grieving and self-pity. As one author* said, “Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit…” The only hope is to look up and see the Light of our Creator’s presence. His hand is right there to pull us up as we trust unconditionally in Him and that He truly does have good plans in our seeming mess. Even as we do this, many of us still have questions like. “Am I letting go of this dream forever?” or “How deeply do I need to grieve this dream dying?”
(*Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, July 16th entry)