Early in week 8, we had to travel for work to the states.  The business of the time had pushed down the grief and full reality of the moment when we had seen the ultrasound monitor the day before we left Canada.  Our littlest one had disappeared and was no longer with us, his Creator … Continue reading 37. Grieving again

One day the Creator approached them and said. “Littlest one, I have a new adventure for you ... do you trust me?” “Of course.” “Then I need you to come with me I have a new role for you to play in my creation.” The Littlest one jiggled with joy. “A special role ... for … Continue reading 36. What else could they do?

“Hey do you hear that thumping coming from yourself?” the littlest one asked. “Yes, I have been hearing it for a while now.” said the little one. “I feel more and more 'here' the more I grow.” He laughed and pumped the paddle like structures, two near his head and two near his shrinking tail. … Continue reading 35. Heartbeats

Thinking about Mary (the one in the Bible, mother of Jesus), because of the way God orchestrated things, many things in her life were unpredictable and probably not the way that she dreamed. But I am sure that if I could sit down and talk with her today, she wouldn't have traded a thing. She … Continue reading 34. Thoughts about Mary

It is becoming more in my complete understanding that the little ones are indeed growing inside of me. I have less energy, so they can have more energy. I eat more carefully, so they can have the best of nutrients flowing into them. The magnitude of the life changes before me are also hitting as … Continue reading 33. My Part vs. His

This was fun! They looked at each other in a way only two embryos that have been together for nine plus years could do. They were remembering their beginning days and also when they were thawed and wooshed into their home by a similar consistency of liquid surrounding them. For the last few days, their … Continue reading 32. Development

I did it! I took a home pregnancy test. After I glanced at it, as I was pulling it away from my body, I flipped it over not quite ready to face what would likely be the last pregnancy test I took in my life. I spent a couple minutes praying in the midst of … Continue reading 31. The Test

The little ones had now counted 10 times that the warm, embracing, accepting being they were in had stopped moving for a long time. Not that the movement bothered them at all, it was just interesting how the part of the being they were in would become more relaxed and their movements would have predictable … Continue reading 30. Loved

Three more days until the blood test and today I woke up feeling anxious and a bit fearful about what would happen. I mean I felt the implantation cramps on the exact right days and saw the right coloured blood, but why do I still struggle with the anxiety? Even though there are signs that … Continue reading 29. Stats vs Hopes

Wow, what a few days it had been. They had enjoyed the couple of days of playing bumper cars and watching each other and themselves grow. The littlest of little ones had grown 200 percent faster then the his brother and had almost caught up again after losing half of his mass in the thaw. … Continue reading 28. Settling in